-= Gametoast.com =-

So, in my time away, I've had a chance to work on a new writing project. It's a more fantasy-themed story, set in a roughly Africa-shaped continent called Car'Gahna. The basic plot of the story revolves around tensions between the different races:

The Kingdom of the Crescent Sword - The Humans of the story. Though not the protagonists, they are great allies and are the last bastions of chivalry against the Barbarian Tribes and the many Animal-kin. They share many similarities with the Holy Roman Empire, and exist in a state of a monarchy-democracy. Though the king controls much power, he is kept in check by a group of elected officials selected by the public. He is personally protected by the Oath Guard, widely considered the greatest warriors of Humankind. Their name is a clue to a key element of the plot.

The Barbarian Tribes - The Barbarians play a minor role in this story, though they were for a long time the enemy of the Kingdom of the Crescent Sword, and were only within decades of this plotline beaten back into a small corner of Car'Gahna, where they lick their wounds.

The Lizardmen - Saurian-like sentient beings of the east, they live in dense jungle-cities, where they train their warriors and beast-mounts. They are one of several races in the story to ally against the Kingdom of the Crescent Sword.

The Aqurianuu - Water-dwelling amphibians in the west, they live in underwater cities in a small pocket of the continent etched with hundreds of rivers and lakes. Their powerful navies lend their support against Humanity.

The Beastfolk - Massive, Wookie-like creatures standing 11 feet in height, the Beastfolk live in a savage hierarchy, where only killing keeps you alive. They originally came from another land, but have colonized the southern islands of Car'Gahna, and with the backing of the Elves and their allies, they have invaded the Kingdom of the Crescent Sword, sparking a long and bloody war.

The Elves - The term "Elves" is actually a general description of them. They are divided into three distinct races and cultures.

The Or'Rin: High Elves of a sort, the Or'Rin are brilliant tacticians, and skilled warriors, equal to or greater than most human soldiers. The cunning leaders of the Or'Rin have begun a coup to destroy the Kingdom of the Crescent Sword once and for all.

The Nu'Rin: These elves dwell in the desert of the far eastern corner of Car'Gahna, living in nomadic groups, pursuing the Muku'hak, great bison of the desert. In the harsh desert, they cannot afford to waste energy, so rather than running after their prey they shoot it with bows. All Nu'Rin are as a rule proficient bowmen. They are pawns of the Or'Rin, tricked into serving their masters' wills.

The Ju'Rin: The main protagonist race of the my story, the Ju'Rin are Dark Elves, a race of proud warriors with a tribal, chieftain-led lifestyle. They believe that the only authority is power, and only the strongest of their race become Chieftains of their tribe. They are unequivocally the best warriors in Car'Gahna, capable of besting any one enemy in combat with ease. However, their numbers are few, and though they stand against the calls of war by their fellow Elves, they cannot stop them alone.

The Dwarrow - An ancient race known only by legend, the Dwarrow were the most technologically advanced of all the races, living in a near-utopian society as the other races first encountered fire. Unmatched in every skill, the Dwarrow are the one side that can win any war for any group. However, they disappeared long ago, and if good is to prevail, then their ancient secrets must be uncovered.


And that's all. It's late now, so I'll post the first chapter tomorrow. I hope you enjoy it, as I wrote this with a major headache. (I honestly have no idea what I'm typing, I just hope it's comprehendable.)

I hope you didn't go through all of that work for nothing...

OT: Shadow, has your avatar been peaking in the Ark of the Convenant?

starwarsfreak you should make a role play game like dungeons and dragons and make it simple to play. Id try it out. Making it simple would make it cooler then making it sound like other things already out. I like your new race/class ideas. If you make more to this let me know I can check it out from time to time. :plokoon:

Guru noticed something I did?! *Faints a month past cue*

I want to pose a serious question: Did anyone NOT think this was dead? To those who did, I have good (and bad) news.

First, the bad, all my Word documents mysteriously disappeared, including the first 10 chapters of this story. I freaked out at first, especially considering among those documents was about twenty chapters for my other story I was going to post at Christmas, but oh well.

On to the good news, I started the story from scratch (same basic plot, more detail) and I think it came out better. I'm approaching this more as a novel than a web story, so I'll post the chapters one half at a time. Here's the first, hope you enjoy!

P.S.: I came up with a name for the story: N'Khufu

A Grave Error

The dappled light shone through the autumn leaves as the sun set in the Khor’gum mountains. The only forest in the territory was in the full bloom of autumn colors, and the mountain expanse was bedazzled with orange with spots of crimson, painting a scene of equal beauty found nowhere else in the world. However, the evening air was pierced by unnatural sounds, as the crunch of leaves broke through the songs of birds above.

A troop of peculiar creatures marched through the forest, gurgling in a strange and indecipherable tongue. They were vaguely humanoid, but their build was a stark contrast, standing as high as a child, with a gaunt frame that seemed impossible to hold weight on. Their heads were thin and their piercing yellow eyes were glazed with a weariness found in all those who wander the lands for any length of time. Their ears were pointed, and seemed almost weapons with their quality, and curly black hair topped their domed skulls. They were scarcely clothed for such a night, with only thin rags covering them, and the chill was visible on their faces. They carried small javelins to be used as weapons, but were crudely made of scavenged sticks and jagged pieces of copper.

Though an amusing sight to behold, the true object of note lurked in the bushes only thirty yards away. A figure crouched in the bushes, standing the full height of a man, and twice the muscle, but he remained hidden in the brush with a grace not imaginable for a creature of such stature. His long, gleaming white hair stood in shocking contrast to his jet black skin, and the thin armor covering him. He was a Ju’Rin, or Dark Elf in the Human tongue, and he was on a hunt. His name was N’Khufu, named for the greatest of the Ju’Rin’s gods, and the greatest warrior of his city, one of several Chieftains. His band of warriors had been patrolling the edges of the forests since word came of kobold hunting parties. The reports had proven correct, and small party had arrived, seeking loot and riches. The kobolds were a mischievous lot, raiding any place where civilization and gold could be found. Though small and weak, they arrived in large numbers, overwhelming their foes with the unstoppable wave of their onslaught. However, the gods smiled on N’Khufu this day, and his band had the advantage in numbers. He snuck through the bush to his lieutenant, and whispered “Can you count their numbers, Jin’Dhuk?”

“Yes,” his friend replied with a dark smile on his lips. “There are seventeen of them. We have the advantage by eight. It shall be a massacre.” He moved to draw his saber, but was stopped by his superior.

“No, lieutenant.” He chided. “We must not strike yet. They may still be within calling distance of their brethren. Let them cross the river, then we shall strike.” Though angered, Jin’Dhuk obliged, and sheathed his sword. The duo split there, and quickly shot through the brush, alerting their soldiers of the movement. The platoon moved through the forest without a sound, and the kobolds remained oblivious to their imminent doom. In moments, the warriors were across the river, and chose a bend in the trail to strike at the scouts. Moments seemed like their own personal eternity as each of the kobolds’ steps fell. Each footfall was the heartbeat of a beast about to die. N’Khufu could no longer hold his excitement, and slowly drew his sword in anticipation of the attack. Just a few more steps… Three… two… one…

“Now!” The Ju’Rin Captain shouted, and two dozen of his warriors hopped to the fray with him. He charged headlong into the closest of the kobolds, and with a single sweep snatched his head away from the body, and the corpse slumped to the ground in an instant. Before he realized he had killed, the screech of yet another sounded behind him; he did not hesitate, and spun on his heel, catching the kobold in the ribs. Mangled in a bloody mess, the crippled imp was flung away by the power of the strike, and the next target was chosen. As one of his warriors locked weapons with a kobold, another of the urchins climbed onto its back, and jumped at the startled Ju’Rin. Once more, the elegance of the captain showed as he lunged forwards with a downward swing, cleanly parting the cretin in half. The two sides flew harmlessly past the warrior on either side, and he cleanly dispatched his foe before returning to the fray.

The bloodbath raged for only a few instants, but the combatants were in a mental eternity, as each struggled to hold their own against skilled and angered opponents; however, the eventual victor was clear, as kobold after kobold fell to the crimson blades of the Ju’Rin warriors, and only the leader of the thieves’ band stood. She snarled at N’Khufu, drawing into a stance to make herself appear larger, but the veteran soldier was unimpressed. As the kobold leaped at him, a single upward stroke of his sword split her face in two, and the creature lay dead among her band. Realization struck N’Khufu, and he gasped in a new breath. The excitement of the melee had so preoccupied him, he had not taken a breath since his only words of the skirmish. Their hearts were lifted by such an easy slaughter, but N’Khufu’s soldiers were disciplined and held their tongues as they began the march back to their city. After an hour on the move, N’Khufu shortened his strides to fall back next to his lieutenant, who was still cleaning his blade.

“Well, Jin’Dhuk, it seems the kobolds are not the match we had expected.”

“Indeed,” the older soldier replied. “but the merchants claimed they arrived in the thousands. If seventeen soldiers make a scouting party then their army is something to be wary of.” As he spoke, he finished cleaning his blade and returned it to its sheath. Jin’Dhuk sighed, and his thoughts returned to his life outside of military service. “Captain, I have terrific news.” N’Khufu glanced to his lieutenant, showing that he was listening to the news his lieutenant had.

“I will be married tomorrow.”

N’Khufu smiled, and all traces of the cold, efficient warrior were gone. “That is terrific news, friend, but you met I’Nohn just a month ago, correct?”

“Yes, N’Khufu,” he said. “but there is a connection. I feel it, as does she.”

“How can you be sure she feels it as well?”

“Well, she has told me, and—“

“And you believe that.” N’Khufu cut in with a chuckle. “You are supposed to be my elder, Jin’Dhuk, and here you are babbling on like a child.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” the lieutenant admitted. “But I just know that it will work. It has to.” He paused, and trailed off, but returned on another train of thought. “We approach the city. I can see the cave now. We will discuss this later tonight. For now, I return home.” As the company entered the cave, the vast city was before them, and Jin’Dhuk made a turn off to his own home. Weary, N’Khufu decided to stop by the tavern, then make his way home as well.


I'll get the other half up as soon as I have time. No promises this time

wow. just only complaint is this:

STARWARSFREAK wrote:and two dozen of his warriors hopped to the fray with him.

I don't know, but "hopped" seems rather, idk, "light" and "happy"

Some untold months later, I've finally finished the darned chapter. I've returned to it many times, but I can never get the Dwarrow story quite the way I want it. This is the best I can do, before I turn insane and smash my computer in rage.



N’Khufu weaved his way through the city, taking a moment alone to admire the architecture. All Ju’Rin lived in Cave Cities, massive tunnels with towers and buildings hewn from solid stone.

They were no Dwarrow, however, and did not like the dark, so massive skylights were constructed to scatter daylight across the city when nature permitted it.

Dwarrow. The Chieftain dwelled on the thought. The word wove an intricate memory for him, the core of his entire conscience. Many years ago, in the city of Maojii, the capital of his people, he had lived with his parents in a good life. Before he and his father had moved to his new city, his mother had told him an ancient tale that all of the Ju’Rin knew by heart.

A long time ago, the world was a much larger place, and all the creatures lived at the center, Car’Gahna. All the races lived in peace and prosperity. But one day, a new race appeared in the south. They were Munduii, the bearmen. They stood taller than trees, and were covered in fur. Their hair was braided in tassels running down their faces, ending in balls that they swung as maces to maul their foes. They were endless, covering the landscape for miles is massive tribes that drove through all of Car’Gahna, killing the defenseless beings. But a god smiled upon the peaceful folk that day. Run’Di, the Forger, felt pity for the helpless people. And so, he created a new race, in secret, to protect Car’Gahna, and teach its inhabitants to fight. They were the Dwarrow. Stout creatures with beards running to their feet, the Dwarrow were unassuming, but they had a power that no other race had: technology. From the mountain of Ironpeak, the Dwarrow poured out in numbers unimaginable to any race. They came with axes sharpened to the point of cutting stone, branches that belched fire from their core, and impenetrable armour made of materials unknown to all other races. It was said that they could even summon fire from beneath the ground to swallow their enemies whole. They were an unstoppable force, and with their technological masterworks, the Dwarrow defeated the bearmen, and decided upon the punishment of exile for the vicious creatures. They sent the bearmen to the deserts of the South, and in a feat never to be repeated, they split the very ground, dividing the world into many sections. Fearing the strength of his own creation, Run’Di ordered the Dwarrow themselves to exile, below the surface of Car’Gahna, lying in wait to return to Car’Gahna’s aid should the bearmen return.

Since then, no contact had ever been made with the other lands, nor the Dwarrow. N’Khufu often took time to ponder the condition of the world had the Dwarrow stayed. But tonight, he just wished for a beer. As he approached the door, he heard a ruckus behind it, and stepped to the side quickly as one of the patrons was thrown out the door. A heavily slurred voice called from inside “Stay out!”

N’Khufu stepped inside, and saw the average night at the tavern: several dozen of his soldiers at the bar, ordering drinks, a group of regulars on the balconies placing bets on who would start the next brawl, and overworked wives in the corner of the room, drinking their problems away. But tonight, a face caught his attention in their midst: I’Nohn sat in the corner, shouting varying suggestions and obscenities at anyone to pass. The Captain walked up to her, and called her name, an ounce of shame in his voice.

“Oh, hey there, Cap’n!” She called. “What’shh sha’ doing out here sho late? You’re lookin’ pretty good tonight!”

N’Khufu sighed. “I’Nohn, you will be married this coming morn. What in the name of the gods are you doing in a tavern drinking yourself half to death?”

At this point, another of the women butted in. “Oh, come on, Cap’n; she’s jush havin’ a little fun before she gotta tie the knot!” Within an instant, a glass bottle flew by her head, and shattered on the wall behind.

“Stay out of it, wench!” called a man from the other side of the room. As she got up to shout at the man up close, N’Khufu sat down, to look at I’Nohn in the eye, in an attempt to curry favor with her as he did with his hunting dogs.

“I’Nohn, your fiancé is waiting for you at home. He has had a tiring day, and he would want his bride-to-be to be waiting for him.”
Now I’Nohn had a silly grin on her face. “You’ve had a long day, too.” She said.

N’Khufu was somewhat disturbed by this, but continued in his speech. “You have a duty to be there for your loved one, and for the sake of your honor, you must do such.”

I’Nohn put no thought to the matter, and stood up. “Oh, come on, you shilly bloke! Forget Jin’Dhuk! You’ve had a long day too.” She said, leaning in closer. She sat on his lap, and came within an inch of his face. It took all the Captain’s restraint not to strike her.

“What say you and me go get a room upstairs, and get to know each other a little better?”

N’Khufu was now in a disgusted fury, but before he could remove the woman, a voice called from the front of the tavern.

“I’Nohn?” pleaded Jin’Dhuk, as he stepped in the door.


In case you can't figure it out, romance is not my forte, and I take no pleasure in writing it. However, I feel a story with nothing but blood and guts is rather empty, so I had to give it a go.

Well, yes, I could tell it wasn't your forte, but as such, you do a much better job than I could. Overall, it's pretty good, can't wait for the next chapter.

GangsterJawa wrote: wow. just only complaint is this:

STARWARSFREAK wrote:and two dozen of his warriors hopped to the fray with him.

I don't know, but "hopped" seems rather, idk, "light" and "happy"

Perhaps leaped
looks pretty good regardless

Whoa. Just...whoa.
That is good.
I mean, really good.
Whoa again.