I'm back everybody! Sorry about the long wait again.
So here you go, the two final chapters of
The Great Internet War and the title of my next story!
CHAPTER 9
JUST ADD WATER
OR
I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
The QCHQ was a massive black and grey fortress, standard super-villain fare. The sky of its pocket dimension was swirled red and black and the ground was blasted and grey and covered in ruins and evil looking, thorny trees. It was quite obvious that the Covenant of Harry Potter Shippers were not that creative.
A dimensional portal-vortex-thing the approximate size of New Jersey appeared in the void. And from it came the GT fleet. The hundreds of capital ships began to spew out drop ships of all sizes and designs, which in turn landed on the bleak, flat landscape, which in turn began to churn out the millions of soldiers.
But of course, the QC was waiting for them. There was no dramatic stand-off between the two sides like you see in the movies, though I will admit there were quite a few cries of “Albe gu brah!” from the Braveheart fans on the GT side. The battle started quickly, and man was it big, with literally millions of soldiers on both sides and literally hundreds of capital ships on each side.
plasmoidmonkey punched a troll in the chest, puncturing the creature’s plate armor with his knuckle spikes. He turned ninety degrees to the right and fired his Lancer from the hip, mowing down a p0rn0 and a pothead who were sneaking up from that side. Spinning around he caught another troll with his chainsaw bayonet.
A giant growl from behind caught his attention. plasmoidmonkey spun around to see the biggest troll he had ever seen in his life. I mean, this guy ate nails for breakfast without milk or sugar. He picked his teeth with the bones of other trolls. He ate other trolls probably. And as you could have guessed, plasmoidmonkey’s sole thought was, as the giant raised his hammer…
“Oh crap.”
Pop…pop…BOOM!!!
A stream of white fire streaked at the creature and exploded in a brilliant globe of orange flame on its minivan-sized chest. The troll was hurt, but not pwned yet. He shook off the explosion and glared at the direction from whence it came. But of course, he didn’t have a chance to do anything else, as he was given the honor of being the world’s biggest voodoo doll, Brute spiker rounds sticking out of his body like the nightmare of an acupuncturist.
plasmoidmonkey turned to see a girl with black hair, a metal right arm and leg, and an eye tattoo on her forehead.
“Ash Panda! Haven’t seen you in a while!” he exclaimed.
“Good to see you too.” She gunned down a pothead. “How’s it going?”
“Oh, same old, same old. You see The Invasion?”
“Yup.”
“Nice.”
Xavious was enjoying himself on the battlefield. He and Taivyx had created an awesome tag team: Xavious would grab QCers in his shadow hands and protect the two from attack, while the assassin would nonchalantly pick them off with his sniper rifle and shuriken launcher. Given the tight quarters of the battle, they didn’t even have to move to grab new victims.
“Enough action for you?” Xavious asked as he grabbed a nearby emo and held him high by the collar.
“O yeah.” Taivyx shot him with his rifle.
Hebes24 jumped up over the crowd and landed hard in a cluster of n00bs. The muzzle of his SCAR rifle flashed, dropping them like flies. Spinning around, he unloaded a barrage of phazon shots at a nearby emo.
“Flamer at five o’clock!” Hebes’ voice came over the helmet speaker. Hebes24 deftly fired a shot over his shoulder, taking out the assailant.
“Nice one.” ARC_Commander’s voice came over the comm. Hebes24 turned to look at the red and black-clad Republic Commando, who was busily smashing the butt of his rifle into the head of a jock.
“Not too shabby yourself.”
“Will you two quit complimenting each other and get back out here? There is a war going on, y’know!” JackSkratch shouted from atop a piece of rubble as he snapped a pothead’s neck with a single hand and shot an emo in the ankle with his revolver in the other.
Hebes24 shrugged, loaded a new clip into his rifle and reentered the fray.
“I hate you.” Adjuntant_Reflex hissed. MandeRek shrugged sheepishly as their makeshift barricade was smashed again.
“How was I supposed to know that they had a gravity hammer?”
“Maybe the fact that there was a troll with a gravity hammer there gave it away?!” He leaned around the barricade fired off a few shots from his MA5K assault rifle. “Blast it!” He turned to MandeRek again. “I hate you.”
The Clone Trooper responded by firing a round off through a hole in the wall, pegging the gravity hammer-wielding troll right between the eyes.
“And now I don’t.”
The troll was replaced by a bunch of n00bs with Jackal arm shields and blaster rifles.
“And now I hate you again.”
“Man, how many times am I going to have to help you two stooges out in this story?” RevanSithLord said as he popped up right behind them. He rolled his eyes, sighed, and pulled out his lightsaber whip. He then went Indiana Jones on those n00bs’ sorry butts. I don’t think I really need to say anything else.
EGG_GUTS and lieutenantcoda were in trouble. The former was taking cover on top of a downed Scarab tank, the latter trying to turn it on.
“Any time now!” EGG_GUTS yelled as he fired off another round from his EMP launcher. “I can’t hold them all off forever!”
“I’m working on it! C’mon…c’mon…YES!”
The Scarab hummed to life and righted itself, towering over the soldiers below. EGG_GUTS swung himself through the window into the cockpit.
“YAAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! The pair yelled as they began to rain plasma ownage on the QC below.
Master Big Faceless Guy in Black Cloak stood on the highest spire of the QC fortress, observing the battle before him.
“The time has come.” He said to nobody in particular. “Now I will unveil the Ultimate Weapon of Amazingly Diabolical Doom and procure victory for the Glorious and Luminary All-Mighty Covenant of Harry Potter Shippers. The internet will grovel at our feet! The members of GameToast will be executed like the blasphemous infidels they are! TEH COVENANT SHALL RULE TEH W0RLD!!!! LOL LMAO ROFLOLMAO LOL LOL LOL LOL ROFLOL LMAO!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!11!111!1!1111!!1!!!!!!!11one!!1!” His evil monologue was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. He spun around angrily. “WHAT?! Can’t you see that I’m in the middle of an evil monologue right now…” If MBFGiBC had a mouth, his jaw would have dropped so far that it would have hit him on the top of the head, broken his skull, and impaled his brain. For behind him stood…
Da. Da dlah da da da. Dlah-da dah dah da dah da da DA dih latadada…dihlatatdadahdahdadada DAAAA! Diliatidatidah!!! DA DADADADADA DAHHHHHH!!!!
*readers shout* GET ON WITH IT!!!!
Oh, sorry.
For behind him stood…
Chuck Norris.
With a mighty roundhouse kick of pure awesome, the Chuckster knocked MBFGiBC flying faster than the speed of light. Legend is it that he is still flying through the infinite multiverse to this day. And of course GT won and all that stuff.
CHAPTER 10
NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z…
SLAPS SELF
SORRY. WRONG SERIES.
plasmoidmonkey sat back in his chair, quite happy with himself. His third GT tribute was finally completed. But of course, he couldn’t rest at all. For he had a new project. One called
THE SUPER AWESOME, MEGA-COOL CROSSOVER STORY OF DOOM.“Hey, wait a minute...” plasmoidmonkey hurriedly looked over the contents of his mess of a computer desk. “Very funny, guys! Now give me back my Companion Cube!”
Enjoy.