i made one cylinder as clothcollision for each upperarm
but ingame i saw that tey were to long and made some clothpoints look weird
i rdeleted the cylinders, reexported and they were still ingame
i removed all collision primitives from the createclothtool and reselected them,
reexported cleaned everything with visualmunge and munged
the cylinders are still there!

what can i do?

In XSI tree, delete the pandemic cloth definition thing (should be orange I think) for the cloth mesh. Then go into the clusters section of the mesh and you should see something else that say Pandemic Cloth (there may be more than one if you have defined your cloth more than once) delete all those, don't get rid of anything else under the clusters section.

Now you can redefine the cloth and the unwanted bits should be gone. Also you did say you deleted the cylinders right not just exclude them from collision selection.

it didnt work,
the cape still collides with the cylinders