-= Gametoast.com =-

Now, I know that there are people out there who have nothing against the prequel trilogy. I am not one of them. So, after much deliberation, I have taken up my pen with a mission: to re-write episodes I-III. Now, this is not going to be a story thread like my other one. I don't have the time or patience to write full scripts, so I will make outlines and let your imagination do the rest.

Before I post the new Ep 1 outline, here are the main characters, with whatever changes I've made. Some have new names, and some are made specifically by me.

Qui-gon Jinn - The maverick Jedi, and widely regarded to be the best besides Yoda. Even so, he has many enemies, even within the Order. This is because he's broken basically every tenet he could without falling to the darkside: he got married (his wife died mysteriously days later), he gives credence to the religious beliefs of other peoples and cultures, among many other things. He has nearly been expelled from the Order several times, and only Yoda's direct intervention has prevented this.
Obi-wan Kenobi - While still just a padawan, he's known as a stickler for Jedi tradition, and is actually regarded as somewhat below-average in skill.
Anakin Skywalker - Now 15 or 16, Anakin grew up as Watto's slave and mechanic on the streets of Mos Eisly (No mom here). He's still a mechanical whiz and podracer, but he's alos more. While in appearance he's tough and hardened by Tatooine life, and on the surface of his personality he is the same, underneath he is a rather nice person who can't stand violence. In appearance, he's largely built, and since he's Tatooine born and bred, his skin is dark: by real-world standards, we would call him black.
Padme Admidala - A teenage street urchin from Nar Shaddaa. She's world-wise, sarcastic, and down-to-earth , but does truly love Anakin in this version. (The romance was unbased in the prequels. Blech).
Darth Maahl - A revamped Darth Maul. Though his tattoos are now a little more badass, in appearance he hasn't changed much. But now he's the Sith's frontman, doing all of Palpatine's dirty work. And he's notoriously sadistic. He was once heard commenting on how much he disliked the lightsaber, because it cauterized wounds immeadiately.
Tiberion Palpatine / Darth Sheolan - The last of the true Sith race, in the guise of a human senator. In his true form, he looks like a cross between Balrog, a Xenomorph, and a Combine Advisor. He is not shown in his true form until ep. III, and he is rarely seen as lord of the sith before then.
Pacag Zakiir Moshrepp Boxas Da'dyun - An insane genius hired by the Trade Federation to design their battle droids. He's a comic relief character, often complaining about budget cuts and Trade Federation Bueracracy. (For example, his standard battle droid design was basically General Grievous. And that was the standard) He's a pretty weird alien: just imagine a bunch of odd appendages and frills and a groovy neon blue/orange color scheme.
Tyn - A native of the remote planet of Thex, where the Trade Federation first tested their battle droids. As she was one of the few of her people to know Basic, she served as the group's interpreter and guide. She also acts somewhat motherly towards Anakin, as her cub died via miscarriage not long ago. Technically, she is Jar-Jar's replacement, but she isn't true comic relief. though she does have some good lines.

I should get the outline up in a day or so. but for now, discuss!

This is cool, plasmoidmonkey, but if you want something this big posted, I'd recommend putting it at Star Wars Fanon (<-- click over there). But of course, you do what you want.

Nice! I always thought the story of the prequel trilogy was somewhat rushed and not very elaborate, there were so many themes and characters to be further developed, still Georgie ignored them.

Your characters appear to be interesting, I can't say I like the Sith titles, though.

I will certainly be watching this.

Ping wrote:This is cool, plasmoidmonkey, but if you want something this big posted, I'd recommend putting it at Star Wars Fanon (<-- click over there). But of course, you do what you want.

Well, it's only the outlines. And I like GT better.

Nihillo wrote: I can't say I like the Sith titles, though.

Well Sith titles were changed just so that they sound cool, instead of being blatant and obvious. I mean, "Maul", "Tyrannus", "Sidious"...yeah, not subtle at all.

Subtlety was not the objective of those titles, they were meant to inspire fear.

Actually, what I don't like is the sound of the Sith titles you are using, they are long and don't 'flow' from your mouth when you try to pronounce it. I like short and symbolic names, but... yeah, that's just my preference.

I didn't know you like to write stories, that's my hobbie too. No... it's my passion (even though I never managed to finish a story).

Nihillo wrote:Subtlety was not the objective of those titles, they were meant to inspire fear.

Actually, what I don't like is the sound of the Sith titles you are using, they are long and don't 'flow' from your mouth when you try to pronounce it. I like short and symbolic names, but... yeah, that's just my preference.

I didn't know you like to write stories, that's my hobbie too. No... it's my passion (even though I never managed to finish a story).

Well, under further consideration, the names have been changed. Now they are Darth Sheolan and Darth Maahl. So their names are still threatening, but not stupid.

And I had an interesting idea. I know I said earlier that I was only going to post outlines, but I could make this a collaboration work, since i know that Ping can write well and I now know that you do as well, Nihillo. I could whip up a chapter-by-chapter outline, and then each of us would pick which chapters we want to write.

So, what do you think? Are you in? If so, say so, and i'll get to work on the outline. I'm thinking nine chapters, so each of us gets to write three.

Well, that's interesting, but remember that I have never finished a story before (though I was close to finishing one). I'm somewhat perfectionist with my own work, I never let myself do anything that is not absolutely perfect in my own delusional vision of quality.

I'm still trying to overcome this silly psychological problem, but I... I think I can do it if I remind myself that I'm not trying to write a bestseller or change the universe. Besides, I love to write, it's fun! I accept your offer, friend, let's do it!

Nihillo wrote: I accept your offer, friend, let's do it!

You're in. Here's the outline for episode one. I picked my three parts, so just say which ones you want and I'll mark you down.

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
1. As Legitimate as Anything on Nar Shaddaa… - Qui-gon and Obi-wan attempt and fail to arrest Pacag Zakiir, and meet the young Padme Admidala. --plasmoidmonkey
2. Reporting to the Council – The trio returns to Coruscant to report their findings to the Jedi Council, and are sent to Thex to form a resistance. --Nihillo
3. Technical Difficulties – Problems arise en route to Thex. The Jedi ship is forced to land on Tatooine for repairs. --Xavious
4. The Chosen One? – Qui-gon, Obi-wan, and Padme discover Anakin Skywalker. --plasmoidmonkey
5. Winning Freedom – Anakin wins the Boonta Eve podrace, his freedom, and some cold hard cash. --Nihillo
6. Arrival on Thex – The group reaches Thex and meets Tyn. --plasmoidmonkey
7. The Calm – An alliance is formed between the Patrexi clans to fight off the coming Trade Federation. --Xavious
8. The Storm – The Federation arrives to test their battle droids. Darth Maahl confronts Qui-gon and Obi-Wan, as Anakin and Padme assist in the defense of the capital of Shaliu. --Xavious
9. Denouement – Maahl, though wounded, has survived and fled to his master. Qui-gon has been blinded, Obi-wan knighted, Anakin apprenticed, and Padme looking for work. But the Sith are not done yet. The droid armies, while not victorious on Thex, have gotten the go-ahead. --Nihillo

Chapter 1 should be out in the next day or so.
EDIT: Updated for current chapter assignments

I would like to write 2, 3 and 9.

Hmm, what is Thex like? Why are they going there? Am I supposed to come up with my own interpretation for my parts or are they already set, with a plot to follow?

Nihillo wrote:I would like to write 2, 3 and 9.

Hmm, what is Thex like? Why are they going there? Am I supposed to come up with my own interpretation for my parts or are they already set, with a plot to follow?

You got it.

As for your questions:
1) Thex is currently shrugging off an ice age. The planet has large ice caps, and a band of temperate savanannah around the equator, with some small oceans. It is inhabited by the Patrexi, a race I will describe in detail later.
2) It is found in Dr. Pacag's computer files that Thex was chosen as the Trade Federation's testing ground for their battle droids. Since directly intervening with the Federation is impossible due to politics and bueracracy, the Jedi are sent to Thex to prepare the natives for the attack.
3) As long as you follow the outline, you can make what you want. For example, for Chapter 2, it says that they go back to Coruscant and talk to the Jedi council. As long as that happens, you're good. But it does help to wait until the first chapter comes out so it runs smoother.

Chap 1 should be up by this time tomorrow.

Alright, I will be waiting for the first chapter.

I have some ideas to discuss, I'll send you a PM.

Okay, here goes. Chapter 1 of Episode 1. With title scroll

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
It is a time of uncertainty in the galaxy. Rumors of conspiracy against the Republic are mounting, centering around the conglomerated corporations of the Trade Federation. Reports (of admittedly dubious quality) have pointed to the development of a massive army of illegal combat droids. To address these rumors, the Jedi Council has sent Master Qui-gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-wan Kenobi to Nar Shaddaa to arrest the infamous crime lord Pacag Zakiir Moshrepp Boxas Da'dyun, and investigate his connections with the Trade Federation

Chapter 1: As Legitimate as Anything on Nar Shaddaa
The sight of a rusting old ship entering the atmosphere of Nar Shaddaa was not an unusual sight. The galaxy’s scum came and went in droves, as they pleased. One more would not be noticed in the smog-choked air. The skyline, filthy with pollution and decadence offered no comfort or peace. It wasn’t supposed to. People who wanted peace should’ve gone to Alderaan. Hutt Space was for scum and villainy. No exceptions.

The ship landed on a private pad outside the five-hundredth floor. It was a smaller affair, a civilian model with a bit of hack-slash modification to it, not exactly falling apart, but no first-class flight either. The two men who stepped out of it were no different.

One of the men, the older one, was tall, with long brown hair with a beard and mustache. His clothing was dirty and ragged, and a cybernetic device rested over his left eye. The second man was shorter and more slender in build. His face was obscured by a mask of black wrappings, letting only red-tinted goggles and a thin braid of orange-brown hair show through. The pair looked up at the forty-five stories of skyscraper before them.

Walking forward, they introduced themselves to the security droid, and went inside.

Pacag Jaziir Da’dyun sat at his desk, all alien frills and strange appendages. His bright blue and orange coloration looked out of place against the grey-brown of the outside world, but he didn’t mind in the slightest. External air sacs fluttered and wheezed as he pumped oxygen through his nasal ports. His lower sets of mandibles clicked with a soft impatience.

“Ah, bureaucracy. What would we do without you? First you keep me on hold for three hours straight, then you transfer me to some nerf-herder of a support guy who can barely speak Basic, and then you put me on hold for another hour. Gods, was he a Wookie or something? His accent raped my auditory membranes.” The holoprojector crackled to life. Finally. Two Nemodians stood there in the midst of blue static: Viceroy Nute Gunray, and one of his useless lackeys.

“Ah, Doctor,” the Viceroy began. “We have news regarding your battle droid designs. We have chosen which one we will use.”

<Let me guess: The Grievous-03 model. They were the greatest thing you have ever seen. You have finally recognized my genius and will upgrade my budget accordingly. They are…>

“Too expensive.”

<Yeah, didn’t see that one coming.>

“One million credits per unit? That is far too much, Doctor. Far, far, too much. No, no, no. Instead, we will use your B1 series, as we had originally planned. We decided it was more economically viable to use units that our factories have already produced.”

Pacag was flustered now. This was an insult of the highest. His “Greivous-03” models could kill fierfekking Jedi, and they wanted to use the scrap piles that were little more than a blaster on legs. Fierfek again. But, Pacag kept his mouth shut.

<Do we have a test site yet?>

“Thex, in the Outer Rim.”

<Never heard of it. That must mean the Republic hasn’t either. You at least got that right.> he switched off the hologram console and sighed. Fierfek.
***********************************************
Nute Gunray turned to the being that stood behind him and his attendant. The stranger was clad in a black robe, with a hood pulled up so that only traces of his red and black face could be seen. He exuded an aura black as the void itself, and evil fog that seemed to choke the life out the area around him. Gunray knew one thing about him, and that was he didn’t want to be anywhere close to him.

“My lord, as you can see, our battle droids are developed by the finest mechnical mind in the galaxy. Your master will be pleased with their performance, I assure you,” the Viceroy said.

The man was silent.

“Lord Maahl, is something the matter?” his attendant said. “The Viceroy has given you good news.”

Still no response.

“Are you not pleased? Surely you can see that our droids will serve your master’s purpose with the greatest of skill”

There was a wicked hum, followed by a hiss, two distinct thuds, and the smell of burning flesh.

“You would be wise to not take your servant’s path,” the man said in a voice dark enough to fit his appearance perfectly. “If you want to keep all your body parts attached to your body.”

The Viceroy gulped, fearing for his safety.

“My lord, it will not happen again.”

“Personally, I do not care if it does or not. I will kill you either way, slug. But, my master wants you alive for now, and he will be pleased with your progress. But do no believe that his opinion will not change.”
Darth Maahl left the conference room, his black robe swishing behind him.
**********************************************
Pacag’s office door opened with a pneumatic hum. The two men from the landing platform walked in. Pacag looked up at them.

“Ah, the representatives from Black Sun!” he said in slightly accented Basic. “Please, please, come in, come in, and we shall do our business.”

The men walked up to his desk. The taller one reached for his belt.

“Pacag Zakiir Da’dyun,” a blade of green light hummed to life, its blue brother appearing a moment later. “You are hereby under arrest.”

“Ah. Jedi. I’m honored to be considered such a threat that the Republic sends the likes of you after me,” the alien did not seem flustered in the slightest. “But, I’m afraid I have other plans.”

Pacag pressed a button on his desk. There was a burst of flame and a whoosh of smoky air as his chair rocketed backwards, smashing through the window and sending him careening down and out of sight. Even with the sound of the engines, the two Jedi could hear him laughing madly. The shorter man walked over to the hole in the window and looked down.

“He was crazier than I thought, Master Qui-gon.”

“Not necessarily, my young padawan. Any man insane enough to throw himself out the window to escape us is sane enough to have a way to live through it. He will be long gone before we have time to react. But the mission is not a failure yet, Obi-wan. See what files you can get out of his computer,” he tossed a data chip to the younger Jedi. “They might help us.”
********************************************************
Twenty minutes later, the pair walked back out onto the landing pad. Obi-wan had shed his facial coverings, showing a young boy of nineteen, and Qui-gon had removed the cybernetic eyepatch. The elder Jedi pressed the control button on his armband. The ship’s boarding ramp dropped.

As the Jedi stepped on board, they were greeted by a loud snoring noise from the cargo bay. Investigating, they found a teenage girl slumped in the corner. She about fifteen or sixteen, and was quite rough and dirty, with matted and mussed black hair tied back by a red headband. He clothes were patched and mismatched. The girl opened one eye for a moment, before closing it again and pretending to continue her sleep.

“Go away. I’m trying to sleep here,” she grumbled.

“Perhaps. But it seems that you’re trying to sleep on our ship,” Qui-gon said calmly.

“So? I got in, I’m sleeping, and I’m not moving?”

“And what if I make you?”

“Not going to happen. Not even if you were a Jedi.”

Qui-gon smiled and gave the girl a small push with the Force. She sat straight up, no-longer pretending to be asleep.

“Whoa. Guess I’m humped then.”

“No, not really. But an introduction might help things move a bit.”

“Padme. Padme Admidala.”

“I am Master Qui-gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice, Obi-wan Kenobi.”

“So…do I have to leave now?”

“If Coruscant doesn’t suit you.”

“Coruscant, huh? Sounds like fun. Now if you’ll excuse me…” she went back to her feigned slumber. Qui-gon smiled again and began to walk towards the cockpit. Obi-wan trailed behind.

“Master, what are you thinking? We can’t just take some random street kid back to Coruscant with us!”

“Traveling companions should always be welcomed, my Padawan. One never knows the adventures that await. Do not concern yourself with anything but returning to Coruscant. The Council will be eager to see what we found.”

Whoever got the blatant Firefly reference gets an imaginary cookie.

Awesome introductory chapter!

I'm going to start working on the next chapter right away; it might take a while, I have to get hang of things again (I'm a bit rusty), I doubt I will have a chapter done as quick as you did, but I will try to not take too long.

I don't know if it will be as good as either of your two's chapters, but I like writing and would like to do The Storm.

Faceman2000 wrote:I don't know if it will be as good as either of your two's chapters, but I like writing and would like to do The Storm.

You're in. If there are a few rough spots, i'll edit it up a bit. But you should really wait until some more chapter are up before starting.

plasmoidmonkey wrote:But you should really wait until some more chapter are up before starting.

Half way done here.

Welcome aboard Faceman.

Nihillo wrote: Half way done here.

Nice. Can't wait.

Ok, it took me 10 days but I have finally finished Chapter 2 of Plasmoidmonkey's Phantom Menace. I spent the whole night trying to apprimorate the chapter and I'm satisfied with the results, so here it is:

Reporting to the Council

A metallic shell drifted in the vast darkness of space, rotating, turning, scouting the cosmos for a target, as if it was an eagle and the stars were its preys; then, defying reason, the ship freed itself from the constraints of space and time, warping through the very fabrics of reality.

“Hyperspace jump sucessful, in a few hours we will be landing on Coruscant. I can hardly believe we are using such an old ship while there are far better options available.” Complained Obi-wan.

His seat was in the front of the small, oval-shaped bridge, to his left a second seat, in the back, another two. Qui-gon interfaced with a display near the exit corridor.

“You worry too much about trivialities, padawan.” The Jedi master commented.

“I don’t like flying. I always have this bad feeling, like I’m heading towards my demise.”

“Perhaps you are.”

“What do you mean?” Said Kenobi, turning his head to look at the Jedi master.

The senior sat at the vacant co-pilot seat. With a facetious smile, he bent towards the youngster and patted his shoulder.

“Trust yourself;” he leaned back on the seat, “if you feel uneasy, then you are not ready for what is in your future. A warrior may have strength, but if he is not willing, triumph will never come.”

“I am not strong, master. Even battlemaster Drallig acknowledged my failure at the trial.”

“Strength is a concept easily attributed to one’s supremacy in combat, martial skills are valuable for a Jedi, but a lack of will may lead you to the dark path.”

“I understand, master...” He sighed.

They contemplated in silence the swirling blue lights cast by the hyperspace tunnel. Obi-wan shifted in his chair, eyeing his partner discreetly.

“You are anxious, is there something you want to ask me?” Said Jinn.

“Qui-gon...” His voice trailed off, he hesitated, then carefully started: “You know I respect you. You are the closest thing I have to a father, you know I would never take unsubstantial rumors seriously-”

“Still, you doubt.”

The young man sighed again, he was not one to intrude in personal affairs, however, he could not ignore the rumors of a violation of the Jedi code.

“Go check our passenger.”
***********************************
Standing in front of the cargo bay door, the apprentice waited. A girl entered the starboard corridor, in her hands a piece of meat between two slices of what appeared to be bread, a sandwich.

“What are you doing?” She questioned.

“I felt you were not inside... you were in the kitchen.” Obi-wan answered with impatience. Then added: “I’m a Jedi.”

“Oh and I thought you were using your brain, if you just opened the door instead of standing there like a creepy gundark, you would notice that I was gone for lunch. See?” She bit the sandwich. “Good food.”

“You also visited our cabins, the engine room and the communications bay. What are your intentions?”

“Uh? What you talkin’ about? Do you think I’m looking for something to steal?”

“No.”

“Yes you do.” Another bite.

“No I don’t and you are very rude... for a stowaway.” The man sighed, facing away from Padmé’s ironic smile. “Are you always like that? What are you doing here anyway?”

“I like starships, you have one, do the math.”

“So you boarded this ship, expecting the owner to concede with your wishes.”

“No, my plan was to hide until it reached its destination, but looks like it all happened the way you described.”

“Apparently.”

Padmé took the final bite off her meal, then strode to her improvised bedroom with a gushy smile, Obi-wan followed.

“So, what are we going to do when we arrive at coruscant, Mister Jedi?” She asked, while lying down in what appeared to be a large glass coffin.

“Qui-gon and I have to report what we have found in Nar-Shaddaa to the council.”

“And then?”

“Then we are on standby.”

“That’s boring. I thought you guys were involved in all sorts of adventures and stuff.”

The young man walked up to a panel beside the box and pressed three green buttons, the lid closed quickly, an azure mist started to fill the interior.

“Hey! What are you doing? Stop it!” Padmé screams could be faintly heard from the inside.

“I know you sent an encrypted message on an low frequency channel, from the Comm. Bay, I followed you there.” The gases enveloped the girl’s whole body, her eyes were wide open, cautious, shocked. The Jedi, seemingly noticing her fear, explained: “this is a cryogenic tank, you will be fine. I’m going to keep you there until we reach Coruscant, then we will find out to whom you are working for.”

The girl kicked the transparisteel, pushing hard against the lid, Kenobi swiftly approached the control panel, a series of thuds echoed in the room. A combination of characters in aurabesh spelt on the small screen: “MEDICAL PROCEDURE A-2-9: INJECTING ANESTHESIA.”
The thuds slowed down, Padmé felt her limbs becoming lightweight, her mind drifting out of consciousness, a young man appeared on the other side of her misty prison, “I’m sorry Padmé;” his voice distorted by the noise of streaming bacta, “he will always, always love you.”
***********************************
The craft danced gracefully over shining urban spires, then decreased altitude, breaching a thick layer of clouds, a circular pad awaited for its arrival, a technologic marvel floating thousands of miles above the ground, without losing its grace, the freighter landed, extending four cilindrical legs and a large ramp; the young adventurer came out with her companions, ready to meet those who would give her a new assignment, a new reason to depart in another quest through the stars.

“Padmé, please, stop playing with those toys and help me do the cooking.” Said the edgy mother.

“I don’t want to, mom, I’m in an adventure.” Retorted the child.

“You can’t do that, you will always be stuck here, like me. So help your mom or your father will be very angry. Again.”

“Oh fine.” Padmé finally conceded.

The youngling threw aside the model and ran to the kitchen. The room had rough walls, putrid waters flowing from cracks in the ceiling wet the worn fur carpet on the floor; old, rusted utensils and culinary machines were scattered over a table and in the corner was a slender woman, searching for a recipe in a barely functional datapad.

“Good, you’re here, please, wash your hands and help me cut the Bantha beef.”

Padmé did not appreciate the smell of Bantha, the taste was worse, the digestion, a nightmare. She was not allowed to complain though, it was the favorite dish of her father, a krayt dragon of a man, bounty hunter, cold type, all guns, no talking.

A mechanical humming could be heard from outside, followed by footsteps of men who appeared to be in a hurry, then the front door burst open, a dark figure ran inside carrying a long gray cilinder, three red flashes, two green, the lights were accompanied by five identic squeaks. The girl felt an agonizing pain in her shoulder. Two silhouette examined a large black spot on the ground, the image was blurry and mute, one of them approached:
“How do you feel?” Asked a masculine voice.

“I’m scared, ah, I can’t hear you.” Answered Padmé.

“It’s alright, you will be fine, it’s ok.” Said another blurry figure.

“I’m sorry Padmé, I am so-“ a screeching noise interrupted the first man, lights spun outside the window, the two figures argued over something, repeatedly pointing at the black spot. The nearest figure went silent, it looked at the frightened child and started:“he will always, always love you."

"Who?"

"But you have to go away.”

The blinding, spinning light was closer now, the child felt a warmth in her chest.

“How do you feel?” He repeated.

“Why are you asking me again?”

“Side effects of long immersion in a cryo tank include disorientation and temporary loss of senses.”

A familiar person softly prodded her face with a cold rod.

“What is the diagnosis, doc?” Said Padmé.

Obi-wan Kenobi smiled tenderly.

“You will be fine now.” Replied Kenobi.

A tall man, with long hair and blue eyes offered his hand to the dizzy female.“We are here.”

“Here where?” Asked Padmé while grabbing his hand.

“In coruscant.” Answered Qui-gon.

The girl cheerily stood up to look at the sprawling urban cityscape ahead, the ship was landed in a large alcove, the amber glow of illuminated windows in the durasteel arc illuminated the otherwise dark hangar bay, a faint glimpse of the sunset could be caught beneat the imense towers that scratched the clouds.

“Thanks, Qui-gon. It’s.... more beautiful than I thought.” Said the youngster.

“Nar-shaddaa is a dark, vile place, in your travels with us, you will find out the galaxy is full of light” Said the apprentice.

“Weh-wait, you ok with that?”

“Yes, as long as you don’t report us to some mercenary fleet on the way to Thex.”

Padmé chuckled, them wryly remarked:“I’m not going to travel in the glass coffin of nightmares again.”.

“You are welcome to choose your own cabin as soon as we are done with our report.” Said the master. “On that note, we should get to it.”
***********************************
The council chamber was round, numerous chairs formed a circle, some of them were adapted for the size and form of various species, Jedi who came from distant worlds in the galaxy in search of peace, some of them were standard sized, for man of equal ideals and valor, on a small, humble throne sat a similarly small and humble creature, with pointy ears, green skin and graying hair, his body was ancient, but so was his knowledge, teeming with the Force.

“Master Yoda.” Greeted Jinn.

“Ah, glad to see you safe, I am, bring news of nar-shaddaa, do you, hmm?”

“Obi-wan.” Qui-gon commanded.

“Yes master.”

Kenobi revealed a chip, which was then handled to the Great Master, then promptly inserted in a device, a holo-projector. Pacag Jaziir’s message to the Trade Federation was instantly projected in the center of the room. The Jedi observed, attentious to every detail, their minds reaching out to the Force, searching for clues in the connections of the universe, an exploration in a large web of energy and sentience. When the transmission was over, there was an unanimous concern, but also hope.

“Most dire, this situation is, interfere in the Trade Federation affairs the senate will not, Qui-Gon Jinn, travel to Thex and inquire into their actions, you must.” Said Yoda.

“The Trade Federation tests are not as innocent as they appear, the inhabitants of Thex are in danger, they need protection.” Claimed Jinn. “I would like to take a taskforce of Jedi knights to the planet.”

“Seeking conflict you are, and find conflict you will, prevent this violence through combat, you cannot. Patience, we must have.”

“Surely you are aware of the Trade Federation past endeavours, they made a deal with the Baktoid Workshop for the production of an army of prototype war machines.” The Council watched his speech with great care and no surprise, that was definitely the infamous performance of Qui-gon Jinn, the rebellious Jedi. “The Investigative Bureau of Alderaan has countless reports of designs, projects and plans for a growing Trade Federation army. Independant trade routes being created everyday, even more commercial conglomerates join their cause, they all know that the republic is dying. They want to separate through violent methods, loot the prestige of a decaying system, the Neimoidians are preparing for war, and while their motives are unknown to us, we cannot deny that their actions endanger countless lives! We must act! Or the Jedi Order will be no longer different from the senate, a hypocrite circus with no intent to act in face of a crysis.”

The Council was silent, contemplative. Obi-wan was embaressed, separative.

“True your words are, but act rashly we cannot. If on this we premedidate not, stimulate what we are trying to stop, we will.”

“I will do as ordered, then.” Qui-gon conceded calmly, but did not depart.

“Master Qui-Gon. More to say have you?”

“With your permission, my master, I have encountered a... stowaway”

“A stowaway, you say?”

“A girl, she is smart and seems to have connections to the Black Sun. It was possible she was spying on us. I would like to take her with us in our task, as a double agent.”

“Help you willingly in your task, you believe she will?”

Hesitation, then an answer: “Yes.”

“My permission I concede, may the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with us all, grand master. We will need it.”
***********************************
Padmé stared whimsically at the faint stars, they were offuscated by the city lights. Coruscant was not entirely unlike Nar-Shaddaa, the whole globe was covered by streets and gigantic buildings, yet, it glowed more, perhaps the capital of the galaxy had larger cities, larger structures, or simply larger lights, all she knew was that somehow that city was more brilliant, more powerful and intense than the whole of the stars in the galaxy; she admittedly hadn’t seen the entire galaxy, yet, but somewhere in her heart, Padmé knew that she was finally in a path she always wanted to follow, on her way to meet the suns.

A buzzing sound came from the tiny comlink hidden in her rugged vest.

“Padmé.<static> Padmé! Do you copy? This is captain Tarpals from the hunter team aurek, have you infiltrated the target?”
---------------------------------------------
That's pretty much it.

Sloppy production notes: Chapter 3 should be finished in about ten days. EDIT: thirteen days because I want to take a three day break.

So, Chapter 2: sux or rox? Be a l33t person and tell me what you think!

Rox, kind of. A few too many grammatical and spelling mistakes, but I'm just very nitpicky in that respect. Other that that, it was great!

I didn't see any grammatical mistakes but what do I know? My english is far from perfect.

Plasmoidmonkey, could you help me with that?